“All Trauma Has Grief, But Not All Grief Has Trauma.”
GRIEF
Understanding the Many Faces of Grief
Grief is not one-size-fits-all. It is deeply personal and often misunderstood—even by those experiencing it. While we often associate grief only with death, it can follow any significant loss or disruption. Recognizing the type of grief you’re experiencing is a vital step toward healing.
1. Normal (or "Uncomplicated") Grief
This is the most commonly recognized form of grief. It involves emotional pain, sadness, longing, and adjustment, but the person is able to eventually process their feelings and return to daily functioning. They may have had closure and time to prepare, process either before or after.
Misinterpretation: People may think, “I’m not crying all the time, so maybe I’m not grieving,” or, “It’s been six months—shouldn’t I be over this?” But grief has no timeline, and appearing ‘functional’ doesn't mean you’re not grieving deeply.
2. Complicated (or Prolonged) Grief
Grief that remains intense and unrelenting for an extended period and often interferes with daily life. It may feel like the loss just happened, even years later.
Misinterpretation: Someone might assume they’re “failing to move on” or “being dramatic,” when in reality, they may need therapeutic support to work through unresolved aspects of their grief.
3. Anticipatory Grief
Grief that begins before a loss occurs—often experienced by caregivers of terminally ill loved ones or people facing the end of a relationship or career.
Misinterpretation: They may feel guilty for grieving “too early” or be told to “stay strong,” when in fact this grief is valid and real.
4. Disenfranchised Grief
Grief that society does not acknowledge as valid or worthy of mourning, like the loss of a pet, an ex-partner, a job, a home, or a life/goal. This can also include family who don’t realize their grief about their child’s mental health diagnosis. For example, a parent who has an autistic child and is grieving the loss of what they thought their child would be.
Misinterpretation: People often invalidate their own pain by thinking, “This doesn’t count as grief,” which suppresses healing. Others may reinforce this by minimizing the loss.
5. Ambiguous Grief
Grief without closure, such as missing persons, estranged relationships, or a loved one with dementia. This can also be experienced with gender dysphoria. The person is physically present but psychologically or emotionally absent.
Misinterpretation: Individuals may feel confused, guilty, or stuck in limbo. Because there’s no finality, others may not understand why it’s painful or ongoing.
6. Traumatic Grief
Grief intertwined with trauma—often sudden, violent, or deeply distressing experiences (e.g., suicide, accidents, warfare, abuse-related). This can also be losses of the self, such as the physical body (amputation) or illness.
Misinterpretation: Someone might not recognize their symptoms as trauma. They may just feel numb, angry, or chronically anxious and not link it to unresolved grief tied to the trauma.
7. Collective Grief
Grief experienced by a group, community, or society, often after events like natural disasters, pandemics, war, or racial violence.
Misinterpretation: People may not realize they are grieving. Instead, they feel exhausted, disillusioned, or disconnected, and don’t connect these feelings to a shared experience of loss. They may be following symptoms instead of addressing the root cause.
How Grief Is Often Misunderstood
By the Griever:
“I didn’t lose a person, so I’m not allowed to grieve.”
“I’m still angry. That must mean I’m not grieving the ‘right’ way.”
“I should be over this by now.”
“I didn’t cry, so maybe I’m just numb, not grieving.”
“I should be so lucky that I still have…”
By Others:
“You should be strong for your family.”
“At least they’re in a better place.”
“Everything happens for a reason.”
“Other people have it worse.”
These beliefs can lead people to silence their pain, minimize their losses, or become stuck in a cycle of shame and confusion. Instead, try holding space for someone grieving and pausing reactions to listen intently. Listening means not offering advice right away, and this can be challenging because nobody likes to see someone in pain. Try repeating “What I hear from you is…” and summarize what they said. Then wait again. This kind of listening may initially feel uncomfortable for the person offering it. However, to the receiver, they feel more supported and seen. Often, the most significant aspect of grief is recognizing and then accepting what is acknowledged.
Gentle Reminder
Grief is not a linear process. It’s a winding, often confusing emotional journey—sometimes messy, sometimes quiet, sometimes invisible. And it doesn’t always come in tears. It can look like irritability, exhaustion, over-functioning, or complete withdrawal.
If someone is having chronic depression or self-harm, it is time to look for medical help. See the hotline numbers on this site or call 911 if you believe it is an emergency.
Expanded Concept
Grief touches every life, whether through the loss of a loved one, a life change, or the end of something meaningful. Trauma, however, adds layers of pain, fragmentation, and confusion. While all trauma includes grief—grief for what was lost, broken, or never safe—not all grief is traumatic. Sometimes grief is handled safely and with wellness. Sometimes it's chaotic and shocking.
Paige has not only personal experiences with grief, but also has specialized training to work with clients who are physically, mentally, and emotionally processing grief. She offers resources, support, and education to help you navigate both grief and trauma.
How Yoga Therapy Helps with Grief
Regulates the Nervous System
Breathwork (pranayama) and slow movement calm the sympathetic nervous system (fight/flight) and activate the parasympathetic system (rest/digest).
This supports emotional regulation and reduces anxiety or panic associated with grief.
Releases Stored Emotion
Trauma and grief are often stored in the body. Certain yoga practices can help access and release emotional tension.
Cultivates Presence
Awareness through movement and breath can help individuals be present rather than becoming overwhelmed by memories or future fears.
Provides a Safe Routine
A consistent yoga practice can become a grounding daily ritual, offering stability when life feels uncertain. Yoga’s philosophy is that each of us is already ‘perfect’, so instead of fixing someone, the focus is on returning to this inner knowledge that outside sources can’t touch.
Yoga Practices for Grief
1. Gentle Asana (Yoga Postures)
Focus on slow, restorative movement. Examples:
Child’s Pose (Balasana) – Comforting and grounding
Supported Heart Opener (with bolster or rolled towel) – Gently opens the chest, releases emotional tension
Legs-Up-the-Wall (Viparita Karani) – Calms the nervous system and eases anxiety
Cat-Cow (Marjaryasana-Bitilasana) – Encourages breath and movement flow
2. Breathwork (Pranayama)
Dirga Pranayama (Three-Part Breath) – Brings awareness to breath and body
Nadi Shodhana (Alternate Nostril Breathing) – Balances emotions and calms the mind
Sighing Breath – Deep audible exhale to release emotional build-up
3. Meditation & Mindfulness
Loving-Kindness Meditation (Metta) – Cultivates compassion for self and others
Body Scan Meditation – Builds somatic awareness and relieves physical tension
Zen Mindfulness – Eyes open and gazing at a spot while slowly counting breath
4. Journaling or Reflection After Practice
Use journaling prompts like:
What am I feeling right now, and where in my body do I feel it?
What do I need to feel safe and supported today?
What would I say to my grief if it were a person?
Working with a Yoga Therapist
A certified yoga therapist (C-IAYT) can personalize a program based on:
Your emotional and physical state
Grief stage or type of loss (death, divorce, identity, etc.)
Medical conditions or trauma history
Cultural or spiritual preferences
Additional Tips
Be patient with yourself. Grief isn’t linear, and healing takes time.
Start small. Even 5 minutes of breathwork can shift your emotional state.
Practice self-compassion. It's okay to feel numb, angry, lost, or exhausted.
Use props for support—bolsters, blankets, or even chairs for accessibility.
You are not alone - please look for a supportive community.
“Grief doesn’t get smaller but your world gets bigger”
