I spent the past year needing to figure out where to get my hair cut, as my hairstylist of 18 years retired last year and I wasn't sure which direction to take. But by improving my awareness I clued into my response to make a choice... let me explain.
The word awareness is a simple phrase but really complex practice. Fact is as humans we will let things get in our way of making choices. We think about things being right or wrong, for example. Some find it hard to make a decision. So what if we start to enter in responses like "maybe" when we pause with the thought? Therapists use a scale called "Stages of Behavior" to identify where someone is in their mood or treatment. So when we can go from denial or poor awareness, we can shift into weighing-in or considering with thoughts like "Maybe".
Lets take the situation with my hair. I knew I would need it cut again and I had many decisions to make. Occasionally I would sit and meditate on the problem and asked myself "Can I narrow my thoughts to this moment?" - to be present with right now. Sometimes the answer was yes and other times no. The point wasn't to make myself sit with the answer I wanted or to increase my anxiousness by thinking about the problem more. Instead I would sit and observe my present self who has a decision or problem; observing how it showed up in my body. Notice the wording here...I am not the problem - I am just experiencing it. So next step: Which part of my body was having a problem? Sometimes it was showing up in my chest, throat, breath, hands and even emotions. Finally I learned to sit with the feeling which really became... uncertainty. Noticing that underneath all the reactions was that I didn't have an answer and I don't have to always have an answer. I also observed, that in this case, I didn't need outside help or opinions but that isn't always the case. These steps helped me move into taking an action or next steps in the Stages of Behavior.
Honestly most think that from meditating that there will be major revelations, but what I was doing wasn't observing the problem but the feelings around it. For example if I was worried, I could ask myself "Does worrying about this more help it?" Often times the answer was 'no' so I could table it for another time. This helped me when I was thinking about something and obsessing over it; this really helps me when I need to sleep instead.
What I discovered was that I had fear, worry and doubt most times, and when I was able to remove the clutter around my thought I could think clearer. I discovered times to think about things and other times to let it go. I also found myself not making choices based on those feelings. Like "that isn't a reason to do that" so what other choices could be made instead?
In this case I was able to make a choice but for some they do get stuck; this is where working with someone may help. Also it isn't important if everyone likes my choice but the decision is mine and internally I am happy; from the inside-out.
Now I have simplified something that is very complex and this is where sometimes working with someone may help; applying practices to help you observe your response, think about more "maybes" and use that to help in your daily life as well. If this doesn't make sense consider this approach to say...headstand pose. Do you do the pose? Why should or shouldn't you? How is your body responding right now to this question. Did you start off with a "F*** No!". Can you use independent thought here or are you feeling a sense of guilt or judgement? (Note I am not saying do headstand or that the pose makes you a better person. This is an example of using poses to learn more about our emotions and cognitive function). Sometimes I uses positions to help with more acute problems like physical tightness or releasing, but the thought this month is about the ways our emotions add to our problems.
I do hope to help you or maybe you have a friend that comes to mind and you want to refer them.
In the meantime stay safe and hope to see you soon! Jai!
---Yoga Paige